Football is officially back baby. It was a long and painful offseason. But its alright, because the next few months will be filled with football. Week 1 is in the books. With week 1 came a lot of surprises as well as questions that need answers. Are the Browns actually sort of kind of good? Does Bill O’Brien not like being an NFL coach? Can Sam Bradford play NFL football? If you’re like me these are just a couple of questions you have. But never fear; I have the answers to at least one or two. Let’s start with Arizona. Remember the Dolphins and Buccaneers didn’t play this week so they won’t be on here.
- Arizona Cardinals
Yikes. David Johnson will be out until at least December with a wrist injury. He was the best part about that franchise and now they’re in serious trouble. Imagine if you were on the Titanic while is was sinking only you can’t swim and there are sharks everywhere. That’s Arizona at the moment. Palmer was picked off three times and the Cardinals blew a 4th quarter lead to the Stafford and his Lions. They gave up 26 straight points. That’s horrific. This is the same team that was almost in the Super Bowl two years ago with an MVP candidate in Carson Palmer. Crazy how time works. Carson Palmer may have found the fountain of youth a few years ago but time is ticking. If the defense can get things together they might have a chance to be in the hunt while Johnson is out. But giving up 367 total yards offense and 5.3 yards a play in week 1 isn’t a step in the right direction. The Cardinals will have a tough few months ahead if they can’t adapt without Johnson.
2. Atlanta Falcons
Matty Ice and his birds weren’t quite flying high against Chicago but they got the job done. That isn’t saying much though. The Bears were in the game until the final plays. And let’s face it. The Bears aren’t good. Devonta Freeman wasn’t good this week. He may have gotten a touchdown but 12 carries for 37 yards against one of the worst teams in the league is bad. Their run game was especially strong last season and helped in their Super Bowl campaign. They’ll need to get back to that if they wish to be successful this season. Heard of Austin Hooper? Well you have now. The dude is just that, a hooper. He had 2 receptions for 128 yards and a touchdown. But it’ll take more than a few flashy plays to get these birds back to the big dance. If week 1 was any indication the Super Bowl hangover might be real for these Falcons.
3. Baltimore Ravens
Joe Flacco might not be elite but his Ravens played liked it. Terrance West and Javorious Allen both had good opening games but let’s be realistic. Woodhead would’ve run for 200 plus if he hadn’t gotten injured on the opening drive. Jeremy Maclin had a nice Ravens debut with 2 grabs and 56 receiving yards with a score. Look for him to continue to be a strength in the passing game. While the offense wasn’t anything special it was the defense that won this game. Baltimore revamped their defense this offseason and reaped some immediate benefits in game one. They intercepted the ball four times and caused a Dalton fumble. While it is the Bengals that is still impressive. They played a great game all around. Flacco is coming off of a back injury and he didn’t have to do much this game. But his health is still a question mark for the rest of the season.
4. Buffalo Bills
This was the most boring football game since that Bengals Texans Monday Night snoozefest last season. Tyrod Taylor played considerably well in his season opener. Of course we all still miss Rex Ryan. If you don’t you’re lying to yourself. The Buffalo run game is still solid and LeSean McCoy is still a baller. He went for 22 carries on 110 yards. Jordan Matthews had a good debut with 2 grabs and 61 yards receiving but only got 3 targets. The Bills defense intercepted McCown two times but really three times with the failed two-point conversion. The world seems like it might be ending. The Bills are currently atop the AFC East. Anything and everything is happening for the Bills Mafia.
5. Carolina Panthers
Before we go talking about how great the Panthers are remember it was against the 49ers. Even still they didn’t look all that great. Newton may have thrown two touchdowns but he wasn’t the MVP we saw a couple of seasons ago. Maybe he spent too much time on his outfit instead of his game preparation. He missed open receivers and didn’t make things happen with his feet. He finished the day with 171 yards on 14/25 attempts. This week he played the 49ers where these mistakes didn’t cost them the game, but these could cause serious problems later on this season. McCaffery was less than stellar in his opener, but he still has a long season ahead of him and knowing him he could get something going later on. Kelvin Benjamin looks like he’s lost a step. All in all the Panthers will have to perform better if they want to contend this season and prove to everyone that Newton is a true NFL elite quarterback.
6. Chicago Bears
The human giraffe Mike Glennon had a better than expected game against the reigning NFC champs. He threw 216 yards on 26/40 attempts with one touchdown. Mike Glennon was decent but it wasn’t enough for Bears fans. They made it evident they wanted Trubisky in at quarterback. That didn’t happen but it very well could soon. The passing game wasn’t great but Chicago is gonna make their money this season on the ground. The young guys Jordan Howard and rookie Tarik Cohen both ran for 50+ yards and Howard ended with a touchdown. I had Howard on one of my fantasy teams and he was one of my top scorers just as he was last season If you play fantasy and have either of these guys you won’t regret it. While some fantasy points are nice it won’t help the Bears win. Expect Trubisky to get some reps this season but if Glennon can keep these Bears in games it’ll be later rather than sooner.
7. Cincinnati Bengals
The red rifle is already in midseason form. He threw four picks and had lost a fumble. Three of those came in the first half. Don’t forget the five sacks he took. The Ravens had their way with him all game. Dalton completed just less than half of his passes with 170 yards passing. Despite that A.J. Green played alright with 5 catches and 74 yards. Obviously he didn’t get a touchdown but remember those stats when he does. The Bengals won almost all of their games last season when he scored. Granted they only won 6 games but numbers don’t lie. The run game is a three-way race for Cincy. Bernard and Hill combined for 66 of their total 77 yards. The rookie Mixon didn’t perform as well as anticipated despite leading the team in carries. Remember when I said we should take bets on the next player to get suspended? I hope you guys placed a bet or two because Burfict is out for the first three games this season. Déjà vu or is it just me? The Bengals were flat-out bad this week, and it will probably stay like that for a while.
8. Cleveland Browns
Cleveland started their season in the most Cleveland way possible, a blocked punt ending in a Pittsburgh touchdown. The Browns won’t be the butt of all the jokes this year. They will be for a good bit but not all. DeShone Kizer looked good out there. He made rookie mistakes and caused most of his own sacks but all in all he was solid. He made 20 completions on 30 attempts with 22 yards. He finished with one touchdown and one pick. Kizer showed signs of promise and held his own against a great Steelers team. The Browns were without the #1 overall pick in Garret yet they still played exceptional. It wasn’t enough to slow down Brown (who was catching balls in triple coverage) but they stayed within range all game. Don’t get me wrong. The Browns are bad. But they are no longer the worst team in the league.
9. Dallas Cowboys
Zeke isn’t suffering his six game suspension. That’s good news for all fantasy owners including myself. The sophomore slump doesn’t seem to be an issue yet. Zeke went for 24 carries with 104 rushing yards and Dak went for 268 yards with 24 completions on 39 attempts. Dez Bryant is as helpful to the Cowboys as wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day. He had 2 catches for 43 yards. The only player with less receptions than Bryant was Brice Butler. But this game wasn’t as much about how good the Cowboys were. The Giants were awful this game. Not taking anything away from the Cowboys but it’s easy to win if your opponent doesn’t play.
10. Denver Broncos
It’s text your ex season in Denver. In other words the Brocketship is back baby! I guess the entire Broncos organization hasn’t paid attention to the Browns or the Texans but that’s alright. I mean he’s a backup so it doesn’t really matter. But he’s a backup to Siemian so it kind of does. Just wait until October, sorry Brocktober. Anyways the Broncos looked great for 3 quarters. And then LA came back with a chance to tie the game. Siemian played alright but then again he played well for the first few games last season. C.J. Anderson showed he’s still the top dog in Denver. It also helped that Charles is way way out of his prime. The Broncos defense is what will win them a majority of their games, like Monday for example. Thank Shelby Harris for his game clinching block. Vance Joseph had a solid debut as a head coach in the NFL and it helps he was a defensive coordinator in Miami because this defense is way better. But in all honesty the Broncos could be hurting themselves if they don’t get a true NFL quarterback. This defense is too good to not be in the playoffs.
11. Detroit Lions
When one of your coaches names is Jim Bob Cooter you’re destined to win. It also helps that Matthew Stafford leads the NFL among active quarterbacks in 4th quarter comebacks. The Detroit run game is still a murky area. But that pass game is en fuego at the moment. Golden Tate is the new golden boy. He had over 100 yards receiving. But the rookie Kenny Gollady was the real story. He had two touchdowns in the 4th quarter. The defense forced 4 turnovers all game. Three of those were interceptions while David Johnson lost a fumble. This Lions team is good. But I don’t think they can go through another season of coming from behind to win almost every game. And even if they get to the playoffs it’s not like they’re going to win a game. If they do it’ll ruin Stafford’s perfect playoff record.
12. Green Bay Packers
I would pay some good money to watch a reality show of Aaron Rodgers and his family. Run the table? If Green Bay has to run then it’s a firm no. I’m not sold on Montgomery. He may have made the shift to running back this offseason but that doesn’t make him Le’Veon Bell. But when you have Aaron Rodgers on your team then a lot of things are possible. This week was a nice solid win for the Packers. The Seattle defense didn’t let Rodgers make any big plays but that wasn’t enough. I won’t lie though; after that pick in the first I got a little nervous. But I forgot they were in Lambeau. The Packers grinded this win out this season but towards the end they took control. They’ll need to keep it up, because we all know hoe deadly these guys are when Rodgers is feeling it.
13. Houston Texans
Bill O’Brien must not enjoy being a head coach in the NFL. Tom Savage was drafted in 2014 and I’ve thrown as many touchdowns as him. He might be the worst quarterback to ever play in the NFL. He had one more completion than sacks. Why on earth would O’Brien start him?! Whatever drugs he was on must’ve been good. Sure Watson is an untested rookie but it took him one drive to score. I’m not saying they would’ve won if he started but it would have given them a much better chance. It’s not like this is a team that’s rebuilding. They had the best defense in the league last season. The offense would’ve been great too if they had a quarterback. Watson is the guy in Houston. If he can transition into an NFL quarterback sooner rather than later they might have a chance at something. What’s really scary though is how similar the Denver and Houston organizations are.
14. Indianapolis Colts
I would rather watch paint dry in the rain than have to watch the Colts without Luck. They aren’t good with him but man are they awful without him. The Rams almost put up 50 on them! They made Goff look like Tom Brady out there. Tolzien had a 6.3 QBR in that game. He’s also gonna be starting for a couple more weeks until Luck can get back. Prepare for the worst. Brissett might be able to help them get on the right track though. T.Y. Hilton is still an amazing receiver and Gore can still play. I’m a fan of Colin Cowherd but I’m starting to think he’s a tad crazy for how much he likes Luck. Not even Andrew Luck can save this dumpster fire. I hope Lucas Oil Stadium isn’t flammable. Otherwise this organization is gonna go up in flames.
15. Jacksonville Jaguars
Welcome to the NFL Leonard Fournette. Going for 100 yards and a touchdown against a big rival in your career opener isn’t a bad way to start. Bortles wasn’t great against Houston but that was to be expected. After Robinson went out it made matters worse. Luckily Calias Campbell had four sacks of his own and the team had ten in total. They also forced three fumbles and an interception. When your defense has that kind of game it doesn’t matter as much if your quarterback isn’t having a good game. I wouldn’t say we should get used to these Jags dominating week in and week out. Bortles didn’t need to play that great this week. But that won’t last forever.
16. Kansas City Chiefs
WOW. Kareem Hunt and Tyreke Hill will have statues by the end of this season. Now I know I said these Chiefs typically start slow but that game was anything from that. For the first time in his career Smith threw over 300 yards and 4 touchdowns. Nobody would’ve thought that after Hunt’s first play he would’ve had the game he did. Nobody goes into Gillette and puts 40+ against the Pats, especially in the season opener. But they did. But the most impressive part is that Andy Reid made good choices with the clock. If you’re unaware look back at the Super Bowl he gave to Brady and the Pats years ago. This aside the Chiefs came out and outplayed the Patriots plain and simple. I don’t know if Hunt is the real deal but so far I like what I see. If the Chiefs can start the season as well as they finish then they could be scary.
17. Los Angeles Rams
Week 1 wasn’t a true test for these Rams. I would bet my car that the Rams won’t put up 50 again this season. But this game is exactly what they needed. Gurley got into the endzone and Goff played great. Watkins looks like he might have a nice future in LA. The defense was stellar and all around they looked like an actual football team. But we have to remember it was Indy. If they can play this well again then we can come back to this conversation. Until then we should soak this moment in. They might not have too many this year.
18. Los Angeles Chargers
LA is 1-9 in the last two season when a game is decided by 7 points or less. I hope a few people on the roster know CPR because these guys have a bad choking problem. This Chargers team made a late surge to get back into it against the Broncos. But if you take away that 4th quarter then LA did not look good. Melvin Gordon is great and the receivers if healthy are just as deadly. Even though Phillip Rivers is old and throws tons of interceptions he can still get the job done. But getting the job done for 16 games might be a little too much to ask for. Younghoe Koo’s potential game tying field goal was blocked and it gave the Broncos the victory and that is the story of LA’s life.
19. Minnesota Vikings
Sam Bradford? Sam Bradford. The Vikings started 5-0 last season and then went 3-8. But this looks like it might go a little different this time around. He went 27/33 for 346 yards and 3 touchdowns. Dalvin Cook spoiled Adrian Peterson’s homecoming and Stefon Diggs was on fire all game. Don’t forget about Adam Thielen. He led Minnesota receivers with 157 yards on 9 receptions. The Vikings were firing on all cylinders Monday night. Coming into the game if anyone had said it would have been an offensive showcase almost everyone would’ve thought it would be from New Orleans. The defense for Minnesota is already great. If the offense is as good as it looked Monday then the Packers are in for a fight for the division.
20. New England Patriots
Don’t look now but the Patriots are worst team in the AFC East at the moment. Sure it won’t last be we can all dream can’t we? I’m not gonna say Brady is old and washed up. That would be stupid. The Patriots are still the Patriots. One regular season loss doesn’t make or break a season, especially if it’s the season opener. Expect Bellicheck to be more stern than usual this upcoming week. While I do think that this loss won’t break the Pats season it is an eye opener. Brady isn’t the same guy. His age will play a factor this season whether you want to admit it or not. Luckily for New England they might have found their next star back in Mike Gillislee. He only had 45 rushing yards but 3 touchdowns is more than exceptional. The defense was one of the biggest reasons for success last season and it’ll have to be again if they want to have a chance at repeating. I know it’s early, but we shouldn’t make any rash conclusions about New England at the moment whether they’re positive or negative.
21. New Orleans Saints
I would love to know what was said between Sean Payton and Adrian Peterson Monday night. I mean we all have a few ideas but it would be nice to know. The only way the Saints can win games is with that video game offense they have. But as we saw last Monday if they can’t get rolling they won’t be so hot. Brees had an exceptional game but it was apparent that the loss of Brandin Cooks is already hurting them. Of course we were all thinking Adrian Peterson might remake himself this season but his homecoming was ruined by Dalvin Cook and company. Nobody expected the Saints to be a contender this season and I doubt they will be. The defense is too sluggish and the offense has to make up for that. The only problem is that this offense doesn’t have the firepower it needs to carry this team. Sure Drew Brees is a Madden cheat code but there are 10 other guys on the field with him.
22. New York Jets
Did anybody even watch this game? I did but only so I could write about it. Plus we are supposed to keep our enemies close. Josh McClown sorry McCown started for the Jets. It went about how anyone would’ve expected it. He threw two interceptions and completed 26 passes for 187 yards. But I give Bowles credit for sticking with McCown all game. The running game for New York is supposed to be one of their strengths yet the team only had 38 rushing yards. Matt Forte led among backs with 22 yards on 7 carries. I won’t sugarcoat it. That’s not good. Thankfully the Jets recently acquired Jermaine Kearse. He only had 58 receiving yards but with McCown throwing him the ball that isn’t bad by any means. The defensive side of the ball was just as atrocious. They gave up 408 total yards of offense averaging 5.8 yards per play. Bowles didn’t hold back when talking to the media about the level of play. We knew the Jets were bad. But it might be worse than we thought. It’s gonna be a long season for Jets fans. I’d say wait until basketball season for New York, but that might even be worse.
23. New York Giants
I said I believed the Giants were going to make the Super Bowl and I stand by that. Sure they were awful against the Cowboys, but it’s an early season. OBJ didn’t play and Marshall hasn’t gotten adjusted yet. But those aren’t there only deep threats. Lewis and Shepard are by no means slouches. But it is a problem when your leading rusher is Paul Perkins and he only gets 16 yards on 7 carries. But give them time. The Giants will start to click right when it matters. Their defense is stellar and they played quite the opposite Sunday night. But give them time. It’s only week 1. Of course that isn’t an excuse for their performance. They stunk. But we all know the Giants and they’re either really good or really bad. In a lot of ways they resemble the Patriots by those terms. On the bright side for New York Eli Manning did become another meme. And that’s always a bonus.
24. Oakland Raiders
An NFL with Marshawn Lynch in it is a much better NFL. Sure he didn’t go full beatsmode but you have to remember he has been out of the league for a year. The Raiders looked good Sunday. The Titans are pretty good and they handled them well. The secondary for Oakland isn’t that great. Mariota (Mario-tah not Mar-e-oda) threw for 256 yards but he didn’t throw for a touchdown. He ran one for a touchdown in the first quarter but nothing else. The Oakland secondary was a weak spot and they didn’t let them strike in the air which is great for them. Khalil Mack is still a beast if anyone forgot and boy are those receivers good. There was one point where Del Rio elected to go for three straight passes to Cooper instead of letting Marshawn run. Sounds a bit familiar? I don’t care if Marshawn has been on the couch for three years. Let him run. If Cooper had caught any of those it would’ve been understandable but drops have become an issue for the star receiver. This aside the Raiders looked great in their opener and I stand by them as my Super Bowl favorite.
25. Philadelphia Eagles
Carson was wentzing it up all game. Take that how you will. But he was more than exceptional against a good Redskins team. He had one blemish with an interception but aside from that he was giving Washington the business all game. Zach Ertz and Nelson Agholor had great games accounting for half of Wentz’s total passing yards. Philly wasn’t all sunshine though. See what I did there? The run game was pitiful. Blount didn’t have a strong showing in his Eagles debut. But remember even though he was a top back last season he was in the Bellicheck system and a lacrosse player could thrive in that. But the defensive unit was big for the Eagles this week. They forced 4 turnovers and 4 sacks which proved extremely helpful in the conquer of the Redskins this week. I’m not sold on Philly just quite yet. They started 3-0 last season and they didn’t do anything after that. But if Wentz and company has learned from last season they could have a chance to contend in their tough division.
26. Pittsburgh Steelers
Pittsburgh got moved into 1st in the power rankings after escaping Cleveland with a narrow victory, And I believe the person who put them there should be fired. Pittsburgh isn’t the best team in the league. Sure they’re close to it. But when you go into Cleveland and barely win you don’t look intimidating. Antonia Brown and T.J. Watt might be though. Watt had an unbelievable rookie debut. But if the Steelers look to him to change the defense around they might be in a little trouble. Joe Haden isn’t the same anymore. At times he looked a little lost. Sure he literally just got there but he is or at least was a high level player. Offensively the Steelers weren’t themselves. Well Le’Veon Bell wasn’t. He’s probably been spending too much time at Dairy Queen trying to make an honest wage and who can blame him? But he couldn’t get anything going at all. He went for 32 yards on 10 carries and that just won’t cut it for Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is still great though. Naturally they’re going to get better later in the season and maybe then we can give them the top spot. But not this week.
27. San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers are still awful. They were awful when Kaepernick was starting and they’re awful without him. They played an alright Carolina team and they just were not good. Brian Hoyer is starting at quarterback and they are going to be bad as long as he’s there. Garcon led among receivers in yards and we’d expect that from him. Hyde led in rushing yards but that isn’t saying much. The defense did get an interception from Newton but from the game he had most people would’ve anticipated that he’d throw one. This is a bad 49ers team and it isn’t gonna get better this year. Week 1 is a glimpse of the next few months for San Francisco fans.
28. Seattle Seahawks
Take away that early pick the Seahawks got and it was rough sailing for the 12th man. The Seahawks failed to get anything going all game. The fourth quarter was their best but by that point it was too late. The Seattle run game was “eh” and the passing was slighty above that. Doug Baldwin is still there which is good news for them. While the offense wasn’t great the defense was simply alright. They never let Rodgers get in a groove and he didn’t look as comfortable as he usually does. But we’re all forgetting one thing. Seattle isn’t a great first half of the season team. But let them get rolling and they’re something to mess with. But if you’re a Seattle fan I wouldn’t worry too much. Theres a lot of football left to play.
29. Tennesee Titans
The Titans may have lost this week but it doesn’t negate their talent and skill. Tennessee is a young team and with tons of potential. Mariota (Mario-tah not Mar-e-oda) played pretty well. He ended without a passing touchdown but he did find his way into the endzone with his legs. This Tennessee team has a lot of offensive talent. but it might take a few weeks for them to start syncing up. But when they do look out everyone. The AFC South is easy and it is up for the taking this year. The offensive line in Tennessee is also spectacular and it should help make things easier for Murray and Richardson. The defense still needs some tuning. they gave up 359 total yards and Oakland was averaging 5.7 yards per play. There are a few growing pains for these Titans but the pieces will start falling into place in due time. It might be sooner rather than later.
30. Washington Redskins
The Redskins weren’t great in their season opener and we didn’t like that. Kirk Cousins had 17 incompletions and only threw for 240 yards with a pick and a TD. He was also the leading rusher. For some teams that’s alright but when Kirk Cousins is your leading rusher there might be a few problems. Terrelle Pryor Sr. had a good debut with his new team and was the leader by 5 yards among Washington receivers. He led in targets as well. Having him should help take some of the load off of Reed. But Washington can’t throw forever. Rod Kelley is their best running back but his name just screams 1980’s rock star. If the whole football thing doesn’t work out then he might have a career in music. If week 1 was any indication of that I tink that America’s Got Talent is still having auditions. The Redskins are going need to get better if they wish to be a contender in the NFC East.


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