Two weeks have gone by and the NFL is just a huge question mark at the moment. Which teams are good? Which teams are just pretending to be good? Why is Thursday Night Football either amazing or terrible? I know it’s a lot of questions. I have a few answers. You probably won’t like some of them but that’s alright. I don’t live to please. But I do live for any movie with Reese Witherspoon and Sandra Bullock. But let’s go back to football. I’m sure you’re going to be watching this weekend whether it’s NFL or NCAA. If you’re like me you have 3 games on at once on three different screens. You probably don’t though, because you don’t have a problem. I have several. This weekend will be somewhat of a test for a few teams. Others will look to get their season started while some may be in jeopardy if they catch an L this week.
Baltimore Ravens vs Jacksonville Jaguars
The Ravens are 2-0 and they’re playing what looks like an improved Jags team. But this game is in London. Most people would say it doesn’t matter but that’s a lot of traveling and crazy things happen across the pond. The Ravens run game still doesn’t have a true leader. Williams and Allen will share the load together, but look for West to be the one pounding the ball in the end zone . The passing game should be better now that Maclin has gotten more comfortable with Flacco. The Ravens are 2-0 and they been in a playoff slump the last couple years. This year could be their moment. I mean it probably won’t but it’s fun to imagine. The Jags on the other hand have been bad for years. Robinson is on Injured Reserve so that means Bortles will have to adjust. Luckily they have a grown man running the ball in Leonard Fournette. Look for him to get some big carries while the passing game tries to find a rhythm. The Jags are better than they were last season. That isn’t saying much though. I’m going with the Ravens this week and you should too.
Denver Broncos vs Buffalo Bills
If Trevor Siemian keeps up this stellar play we might never seen Brock Osweiler play another snap in the NFL. That isn’t a bad thing though. Uncle Rico should have been the one to get signed as a backup if you ask me. That guy can throw a football over them mountains. The Broncos embarrassed the Cowboys last week. C.J. Anderson played out of his mind. He was also my leading scorer for fantasy last week so go me. Denver’s offense is rolling right now and that’s scary. It won’t be as good as it was with Peyton in the 2013-2014 season but great nonetheless. The Bills aren’t bad. They just aren’t that good. They lost the last week in a snoozefest to the Panthers. They might be in Buffalo this week but the Bills Mafia is about to get wrecked by the mile high city. Speaking of high, I know I wasn’t the only one who saw Troy Aikman last Sunday. He really was taking advantage of that Colorado lifestyle. Denver wins this week in convincing fashion.
Pittsburgh Steelers vs Chicago Bears
Le’Veon looks like he’s been eating too many blizzards from Dairy Queen. That’s the only logical explanation for his play the last couple games. Antonio Brown is still the best wide receiver in the NFL. I love Odell but man AB is good. The Steelers smacked the Vikings last week and they’re more than likely going to do the same to Chicago. The human giraffe Mike Glennon has been better than I thought he would be so far. That doesn’t mean he’s good. He just exceeded my small expectations. The run game is where Chicago can do some damage. Jordan Howard and Tarik Cohen are simply having some trouble getting started. We’ve seen Howard on a good day. There’s a reason he was second last year in rushing yards. I bet you didn’t know that stat. The guy isn’t a household name yet but I’ve already bought his stock. But one guy doesn’t make a football team. I think Pittsburgh is gonna go back to the steel city at 3-0.
Atlanta Falcons vs Detroit Lions
This is an interesting matchup. The Falcons were impressive last week as they pretty much ate all the cheese Green Bay had to offer. This week they play the Lions. Both teams are still undefeated on the season and they each have a lot to prove this year. If last week was a glimpse of the next few months then the dirty birds are going to be just as dangerous as they were last season. I only have one worry. Julio Jones may go for 100 yards or more but the guy doesn’t score touchdowns. He never really has gotten a lot. I know it doesn’t make him any less skilled but that’s a realistic worry for the future. The Lions on the other hand can go under the radar to an extent as nobody expects them to go far. This is easily the game to watch in the afternoon. I like the Lions because Matt Satfford can make things happen late in the game. We know how that goes with Atlanta. But I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Matt Ryan has been reading my stuff and he doesn’t like what I have to say about his Falcons. Lions stay undefeated this week.
Cleveland Browns vs Indianapolis Colts
Realistically I don’t think anyone is going to watch this game. If you aren’t a fan of either of these teams and you watch this game you must not enjoy life that much. But it would be fun to make bets on who fumbles the most. DeShone Kizer hasn’t been that bad his first two starts. He just has some bad stats. I know numbers don’t like but they almost beat the Steelers. The Colts are going to continue to stink until Andrew Luck gets back to health. But that might be a little while. The Colts have a shot if Jacoby Brissett starts. Pair him with T.Y. Hilton against the Cleveland secondary and they might have a few nice plays. I won’t sugar coat this. I would rather listen to the entire discography of Nickleback than watch this game. They’re at Lucas Oil Stadium so I’m gonna go with the Colts this week.
Houston Texans vs New England Patriots
Are the Patriots good this year? Are the Texans good? We don’t quite know. The Pats won last week but it was against the Saints. The Texans won against the Bengals. Of course I’m going to give the edge to Brady but if Houston can pull a win out then a lot of heads will be turning. Good news for Deshaun is that the New England defense looks pretty garbage at the moment. The bad news is he is still going against the Patriots. I may not like them but I do have to acknowledge them. Also being in Gillette Stadium should help. Then again, it should’ve helped when they played Kansas City. I have 42 reasons to argue that though. The Texans are going to go through growing pains for a while until the rookie can get more comfortable. He looked alright against Cincinnati but that’s Cincinnati. New England is a different animal. Actually they’re patriots so they’re still humans I guess. I give this rematch of last season’s playoff matchup to New England. However I do feel like Houston will have some fight in them.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Minnesota Vikings
No Bradford? Big problem. Tampa is good. They’re probably better than just good. This matchup is great for Tampa for a few reasons. They have a defense. Jameis may be coming into his own but he’s still performed bad against good defenses. Hopefully he can turn that around this week. The other good news for Tampa is that Sam Bradford is out. So even if Jameis doesn’t play too well they should have a good shot. Bradford may not be the most ideal quarterback but he can get the job done. Well he can sometimes get the job done. Dalvin Cook should get a lot of carries while Bradford watches from the sidelines. I’m gonna take the Bucs this week even though they’re in Minnesota. I don’t think it’s that tough of a choice.
Miami Dolphins vs New York Jets
Smokin’ Jay Cutler is back baby! I do not care what anyone says. Cutler had a great showing in his Dolphins debut against the Chargers. He threw for 230 yards on 24-33 and one touchdown. More importantly he didn’t throw an interception. He barely threw the ball more than ten yards down the field, but he got the job done. Thankfully the Dolphins have a small train in their backfield. Ajayi can handle 20-30 carries a night which is great, because it takes some of the strain off of Cutler. The Jets look bad. They look really bad. The Dolphins may have struggled at times against the Chargers but there will be growing pains for Gase and company. But don’t rule them out just yet. The Jets are awful so this week should be a nice confidence booster for Miami.
New York Giants vs Philadelphia Eagles
Ben McAdoo needs to do something about that haircut. Odell might be able to help him out on that end. But I’d be willing to bet that McAdoo gets his hair cut at Sports Clips. The Giants are 0-2 and they look bad. They look almost as bad as their neighboring Jets. This week they have a pivotal matchup against Philly. It’s not just a division game for New York. If they lose this game they’re 0-3 with an 0-2 record in NFC East play. To make matters worse their next few games are against some better teams and they cannot afford to start 0-5 or 0-6. It’s week three but this is almost a must win for New York. The Eagles on the other hand are 1-1. They look better now than they did at the end of last season but it’s still early. Wentz and his offensive will have their hands full with the Giants defense all game. But the deciding factor will be the Giants offense. If they can play halfway decently they’ll win this game. I think they will. Can’t spell elite without Eli. I’m taking Odell and company to get their first win of the year.
Carolina Panthers vs New Orleans Saints
The Saints might be out of gumbo. They’re 0-2. good news for them is they have Carolina this week. Neither teams are good but I give Carolina the edge. They won their first two games but they played San Francisco and Buffalo. Even though they haven’t played anyone yet they at least have a defense. New Orleans barely has an offense so a defense is asking a bit much. But Cam Newton might tweek his ankle in his pregame dancing so you never know. Maybe Kelvin Benjamin will decide to become an NFL player again. McCaffery might finally have his break through moment. I think this week could be it. I think we’re gonna see a high scoring game and I’m gonna give this week to Carolina. I think they’re going to be 3-0 after this week but I still don’t think they’re a top-tier team in the NFL.
Seattle Seahawks vs Tennessee Titans
When you rank all-time football movies if you don’t have Remember the Titans up there then you have internal issues and stop reading this right now. The Titans have Seattle this week. Tennessee may be 1-1, but their loss was to Oakland and it wasn’t bad. Speaking of bad, Seattle will look to actually play some offense this week. I’ve said Seattle is a slow team, but this is just bad. Russell Wilson looks very eh and that offensive line looks worse than ever. The passing game looks lost at the moment. It’s only week three though. Seattle has shown in the past that the first few weeks don’t matter as much as some people think. Tennessee looks pretty good at the moment. Marcus Mariota doesn’t even look like he was injured last season. The Titans run game looks exceptional right now and the Tennessee receivers can carry their own. Seattle comes to Tennessee this week. I’ll take the home team by at least one possession.
Cincinnati Bengals vs Green Bay Packers
Green Bay doesn’t look like the Green Bay that went on a huge win streak to end their season right now. But that doesn’t matter right this week, because they’re playing the Bengals. If Green Bay struggles then maybe there are some actual reasons to be worried. If you’re a Cincinnati fan then I’m sorry. This year is gonna be a long one. Unrelated note the state of Ohio is currently 0-4 at the moment in the NFL. By Sunday evening it’ll be 0-6. Cincinnati is going to have at least two turnovers in this game. One will probably be in the red zone and cost them a possible touchdown. The Bengals are going to lose this weekend. If they don’t then I might just contemplate my entire career path.
Kansas City Chiefs vs LA Chargers
If you have Kareem Hunt please start him this week. Please please please. The Chiefs are lighting it up right now, and it’s going to continue this week. They’re in LA which means one thing. Half of the stadium will probably be vacant which is saying something. I’ve seen more people at Best Buy on Black Friday than the last couple LA Chargers games. More people go to my intramural football games than Chargers games. LA just needs to go back to San Diego. But until then let’s enjoy their misfortune while it lasts. Younghoe Koo has had two chances to win a football game for the Chargers and both ended up negatively for them. I would love for him to get another chance this week to win the game but I doubt Kansas City will be locked up with them for most of it. The Chiefs win this one easily.
Oakland Raiders vs Washington Redskins
I can’t say enough how much I’ve missed Marshawn Lynch. This is a good matchup for Oakland. Last week they lit up the Jets. I mean they beat the breaks off of them. Carr and Crabtree were on one brain wave all game. I do think the Redskins are a decently good team, but they don’t scare me the same way Oakland does. Kirk Cousins can make things interesting but they’ll need to play exceptionally well this week to win. The Raiders are my Super Bowl pick so it would be dumb for me to not pick them. Plus they look really good right now. Kirk Cousins has a weird obsession with Lord of the Rings and Marshawn kind of looks like an orc so this should be good. Also Cousins drives a 2000 GMC conversion van so you never know what can happen. But I’ll take Oakland this week.
Arizona Cardinals vs Dallas Cowboys
This was the Hall of Fame game before the preseason. I honestly think that game will be better than this one. Dallas got killed last week and Arizona beat the Colts in overtime. Both of them had bad weeks. It’s the Monday Night Football game and that makes me pretty sad. Zeke and Dak haven’t really had the start everyone (except myself) expected. Jason Witten is 80 years old and still the top target in Dallas. Carson Palmer is still trying to prove his NFL career isn’t over, but I think it’s too late. Especially now that David Johnson is gone Arizona will be in an even deeper hole. Bruce Arians isn’t a happy guy by nature, but I have a feeling he’s going to have a couple outbursts on the sidelines against Dallas. The Dallas equivalent of that would be a sideline shot on Elliot when he’s having a bad game. If neither of those happen the game won’t have any real highlights in my opinion. I’m going with the Cowboys this week in a semi-dominant fashion.
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