Welcome to the future. It’s nice to see you. Are you tired of playing ping pong? Sorry table tennis. Tired of getting beat in your friend’s garage every other night because he has nothing else to play? Always wanted to play Twelve Ball from Wizards of Waverly Place but you can’t because that’s not real and the table itself is extremely infeasible and playing with 12 balls flying simultaneously sounds great, but is much more complicated when you actually try and do it? Same. So we created Astroball. It’s a game that’s been decades in the making, waiting for the prime opportunity. Well here it is.
Wait, wait, wait I know what you’re thinking. What the h*ck is Astroball and why does it sound so futuristic? Did Aliens come to Earth and secretly probe all the world’s greatest ping pong players in order to kill off the sport because they wanted to be the best in the galaxy? Maybe. It’s definitely in the realm of possibility. But I’m not here to talk about that. Just here to broaden your horizons if you will.
Astroball is a game similar to ping pong in a few ways. Two paddles. One Ball. One goal. Galactic domination. However, the similarities essentially stop there. Instead of a net, there is a black hole with 6 different portals that the ball will go through. This element of randomization makes for a more chaotic gameplay which adds to the already intense atmosphere that the game brings. A game of Astroball can only end when a player scores 11 points, or if a player scores a point from each of the 6 different portals in a single game. There is one other way to win the game in one serve, but that’s for later on.
You’re either extremely intrigued or you think this is the dumbest thing imaginable. Either way I would give it a chance. You might just surprise yourself. Obviously this is leaving more questions than it answers, but that’s all for now. Stay tuned. Astroball is coming soon to viewers like you.
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