Why is the Pro Bowl still an actual football game? It makes zero sense. Nobody cares about it. The coaches don’t care about it. The players don’t want to play in it. The fans don’t wanna watch it. One of my many theories is that it’s because the Pro Bowl is just another football game, but it means nothing. Yet injuries are still a possibility, and it just feels like an unnecessary risk for players. So maybe they should just scrap the whole thing. Instead turn the Pro Bowl into a giant dodgeball tournament for NFL players. Why dodgeball you may ask? Dodgeball is easily one of the greatest sports ever created, and it tests so many areas of athletic ability. And who better to be playing than some of the greatest athletes on the planet? Ever since they introduced dodgeball into the Pro Bowl, it’s become by far the best part about it. With that being said, the Pro Bowl needs to be turned into a dodgeball tournament.
This thing started out in a chaotic affair. It was a barrage of yellow flying orbs and freakish super-humans running around on a cold field, and it was glorious. I don’t care what anyone says, there’s nothing better than a spectacular dodge in dodgeball, nothing. And to begin the game, we saw like 15 in about 11 seconds. It was crazy. You’d have almost thought it was choreographed by how perfect some of the dodges were. The balls were just gliding out there.
Then you got the announcers asking stuff like “has anybody been eliminated yet” seconds before the first elimination. Asked an answered baby. Then you got Alvin Kamara maneuvering like a guy trying to avoid a zombie apocalypse meanwhile the announcers keep manifesting eliminations with the mic.
Alvin Kamara awareness on 100
Russell Wilson had what was arguably the greatest catch of the game, and was promptly eliminated immediately after in true Russell Wilson fashion. But in all seriousness, wasn’t he a pro baseball player too? That guy should be throwin HEAT.
Once again, these announcers must know something we don’t. As soon as this guy mentions Hunter Renfrow’s sticky hands, he goes full Globo Gym, making a spectacular catch in order to make it 3-on-3. Hunter Renfrow is a dodgeball nightmare, or a dream, depending on how you view the situation. Someone phone Ron Burgundy, because things did escalate quickly.
What’s dodgeball without a little controversy? We sure had enough in this matchup, but ball don’t lie. There were definitely some controversial calls in this one, but what do you expect? These are NFL refs; we know how reliable they really are. *Spoiler Alert* they suck at refereeing dodgeball almost as much as they suck at refereeing football games.
If there was ever a sport where instant replay is necessary, it’s dodgeball
The only thing that could make dodgeball better is when you turn it into a family affair. Trevon and Stefon Diggs did that for us, providing us with all the drama you could ask for. With the game on the line, Trevon stuffed a huge throw from older brother Stefon as he was backpedaling in beautiful fashion. This should be a reminder for everyone that comes from an athletic family that the youngest sibling is set up to be the best, regardless the sport. Trevon had to show Stefon what the power of youth looks like. Shoutout to Might Guy.
Credit to Nick Chubb here. Down 2-on-1 he comes up with a huge elimination when Trevon tried to catch lightning in a bottle twice. Maybe let Stefon stick to catching things for a living. But it was really how he eluded elimination from Justin Jefferson, a split-second after eliminating Trevon Diggs. It’s what you live for in the dodgeball arena. Nothing compares. Except maybe winning.
Justin Jefferson. Remember the name ladies and gentlemen. He’s gonna be a star one day. All legends have an origin story. With victory in his sights, Jefferson did what you have to do. Somebody’s gotta be clutch right?
After watching this, there are a few key takeaways. This game, which lasted less than 10 minutes was far greater than any Pro Bowl game imaginable. No comparison. And we need more of this deliciousness. The NFL rarely does things right, so I don’t wanna get my hopes up. But this is the kind of entertainment NFL fans deserve. It’s not like it’s any more dangerous than football
Why doesn’t the NFL form a Dodgeball Summer League? That would legendary.
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